This city was designed to show you how much it hates you. Maybe that’s why I love it so much. Between the billboards telling you to fuck off, to the way the entire skyline looks like it’s flipping you the bird, everything about this place is telling you to stay away. And people do, in droves.

There’s a certain evolutionary pressure to a place like this. It selects for the kind of personality that can’t get along with anyone, but that knows you can’t get along without anyone. The kind that doesn’t want you to get too close, but doesn’t necessarily want you to leave, either. Most of you can’t understand a personality like that, and that’s fine. We don’t need you to. We just need you to be outside the city limits by sundown.

That doesn’t leave many of us, but we like it that way. We understand each other. We stick together, in our way; it’s the only way we’ll have any chance of sticking apart. It’s a cozy, solitary life. I live above a pub, just like I always wanted to. They have the good whiskey, and if I’ve had too much, worst case is it takes twice as long for me to climb the stairs. And when I manage to get my door open, one of the neighborhood cats is usually there to greet me. Rent is cheap and living is easy. What more can a guy ask for?